Restless

Here for your consideration can be found the strange tale of Jonathan and Bullo Ryles, twin brothers and grave robbers extraordinaire. Amoral and despicable in all things they find easy money in digging up the wealthy and pillaging their belongings, unconcerned with stealing what they can from those who have passed beyond.  When a big score falls into their laps it is in their nature to grab for it with open arms, the seductive lure of a quick dollar blinding them to the truth that some of the dead are buried deep for a reason...


Wednesday 9.44am

Hedricks
Anything for me?

Jonathan
Just finished a job. Will have it all packaged and ready for delivery by lunch.

Hedricks

Proceeds of the two new clients down in Somerset?

Jonathan
Yeah. Both were fresh for the taking.

Hedricks
Did they prove profitable?

Jonathan
One of them definitely worth the effort. I have a pair of leather shoes you aren't going to believe.

Hedricks
Shoes?

Jonathan
Gotta be worth at least 600.

Hedricks
Any jewelry?

Jonathan
Usual. One very nice ring, a large gold crucifix and an antique watch. Clients didn't mind handing them over.

Hedricks

Any trouble?

Jonathan
None. You found any other leads?

Hedricks
Checked the obits. Three possibles for the weekend.

Jonathan
Brilliant. Bullo's got a possible mark as well. Old guy near Hampton. Going to be put in the ground in the next few days.

Hedricks
What makes him so interesting?

Jonathan
Apparently he has no family and believes he can take it all with him.

Jonathan
Bullo reckons we could really score on this one.

Hedricks
Good luck with that. When will you have the bag my way?

Jonathan
I'll get Bullo to deliver it around 11. We'll be wanting at least 850 for the lot.

Hedricks
Don't make me laugh. I'll want to see the merchandise first.

Jonathan
I think you'll be surprised. Look out for a red van.

Hedricks
What happened to the old bus?

Jonathan

Got totalled outside of Warrington.

Hedricks
Crash it?

Jonathan
No. Stolen. Couple of young shitheads took it for a ride. Bullo was left high and dry.

Hedricks
Insured?

Jonathan
You kidding? It had fake plates and no insurance. I'm sure the cops are scratching their heads over who it actually belongs to.

Hedricks
Anything compromising inside?

Jonathan
Luckily no. Bullo had off-loaded everything at the cabin just before it was taken.

Hedricks
What happened to the joyriders?

Jonathan
Hospital. That does bring up a favour I have to ask.

Hedricks
What do you need?

Jonathan
Their names and addresses. Me and Bullo will be paying them a visit once they're out of custody.

Hedricks

Usual rates will apply for the info.

Jonathan
No problem. Me and them will be having a little talk.

Hedricks
That'll be interesting. I'll see Bullo at 11.


Wednesday 10.26am

Jonathan
Bullo. Where you at?

Bullo

About. What do you need?

Jonathan
I need you to collect last night's takings and get them over to Hedrick's.

Bullo
Now?

Jonathan
Yes now. Where are you?

Bullo
Outside of Mercy General.

Jonathan
The hospital?

Bullo
Where else?

Jonathan
You're not wasting time waiting for those assholes are you?

Bullo
No. I'm waiting for a pick up.

Jonathan
Who?

Bullo
The old guy I was telling you about. I'm waiting for the funeral home to take him.

Jonathan
Can't you wait for the notifications?

Bullo
Not this time. Old fart made no arrangements so an undertaker's been organised by the hospital Chaplain.

Bullo

Just need to see which one. Hold up. Looks like we have a winner.

Jonathan
Who is it?

Bullo

McMurty's. They bury most of their stiffs over in Carringville don't they?

Jonathan
Mostly. Finish up there Bullo. I need this stuff moved.

Bullo
Why can't you do it yourself?

Jonathan
Jesus Bullo. Just do it.


Wednesday 12.46pm

Bullo
Delivery done.

Jonathan
Great. How much?

Bullo
775. Hedricks is getting way too skittish in his old age.

Jonathan
What was wrong?

Bullo
He liked the shoes and crucifix but balked at the ring.

Jonathan
That's surprising. Why?

Bullo
Apparently the cops have been snooping around his shop of late. Looking for jewelry from some heist in Midland City.

Jonathan
Did you get it back from him?

Bullo
No. He's going to forward it to a business acquaintance he has on the east coast.

Jonathan
And?

Bullo
Sell it on there.

Jonathan
Christ Bullo. I've told you before not to give over dodgy gear without getting cash up front.

Bullo
Don't sweat it Jonathan. Hedricks has taken it as payment for the info you asked for. No harm, no foul. Quit worrying.

Bullo
Anyway. We've got bigger fish to fry.

Jonathan
What's up?

Bullo
The old guy.

Jonathan

Are you sure this mark is worth the effort?

Bullo

God yes. Been doing some digging. No family, No beneficiaries, and no paper assets.

Jonathan
So he's a vagrant?

Bullo
No. Word is he's worth at least a cool million, and 90% of his value is held in gold bullion and antique coins.

Jonathan

And where is all that going?

Bullo
Nowhere. I've been told he's being buried with it.

Jonathan
What?

Bullo
No shit. Got it straight from the housekeeper.

Jonathan
That was a risk I'd rather you hadn't taken.

Bullo
Don't discount my efforts yet, simple brother. Me and the housekeeper get along just fine.

Bullo
It is amazing what a gal will say when she's imbibed large amounts of vodka.

Jonathan
Christ Bullo. Did she happen to slur where he's being buried?

Bullo
As we thought. Carringville Gardens. Should be a simple but dignified affair.

Jonathan
When?

Bullo
I enquired with the Funeral Home. Being a concerned long lost cousin from Canada they gave me the details.

Jonathan
You have been busy.

Bullo
Yeah. The burial is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

Bullo
For this job however, we are going to need more than shovels and a crowbar.

Jonathan

What else?

Bullo
The coffin is made of plate steel. We're going to need the blowtorch.

Jonathan
You are kidding right?

Bullo

Don't worry. This one's being planted out of sight of the main road. We could set off dynamite and nobody'd notice.

Jonathan

Tomorrow night then. You're carrying the torch.

Bullo
Shithead.


Thursday 8.44pm

Jonathan
Got the torch?

Bullo
Clean bottle of oxy as well.

Jonathan
Did you watch the burial?

Bullo
Yeah. Went along as the cousin. No-one there but the diggers, a celebrant and a crane driver.

Jonathan
Crane driver?

Bullo
Not your usual funeral. Took one mother of a crane to lower the coffin in. Just as expected. Steel plate, riveted and strapped.

Jonathan
I don't know about this. Will we even be able to get in?

Bullo
Nothing the torch can't handle.

Bullo
That guy really wants to keep his treasure with him. Pretty much buried in a safe.

Bullo
Was curious though.

Jonathan
What was?

Bullo
The coffin had symbols carved into the steel plate. Weirdest thing I've seen in a while.

Jonathan
What do you think they were for?

Bullo
Probably some daft religious thing. Sure as Hell couldn't read any of them.

Jonathan
Long as there's something in the coffin other than the stiff I don't care either.

Jonathan
I'll pick you up at midnight. You staying out at the cabin?

Bullo
Yeah. This should be sweet.


Friday 1.43am

Jonathan
What's taking so long?

Bullo
Don't get your knickers in a twist. Just keep watch. They've buried this guy deep.

Bullo
Why you complaining anyway? You're not the one digging the hole.

Bullo
You see anything?

Jonathan
Nothing. Dark as pitch here. Looks like it might rain.

Bullo
Just keep watch.

Bullo

This is weird.

Jonathan

What is?

Bullo

There's a shitload of salt thrown into the hole.

Jonathan
Sure its salt?

Bullo
Tastes like it.

Jonathan
You do remember you're in a hole with a dead person, right?

Bullo
Hold on. I've hit something.


Friday 2.16am

Jonathan
You finished yet?

Bullo
Done.  Cleared the top and cut into the lid flange.

Bullo
Jesus this thing is heavy.

Jonathan
I've got movement down here. Looks like kids.

Bullo
Where are they?

Jonathan
Running north towards the crypts.

Bullo
Don't worry. Scare 'em off if they get too close.

Bullo
I'm deep enough nobody'll see anything.

Jonathan
Got it open yet?

Bullo
If you stop texting me I might be able to.

Jonathan
Smart ass.


Friday 2.33am

Bullo
Holy Shit. You should see this guy.

Jonathan
What's up?

Bullo
I have never seen a corpse like this. Looks like old tree bark wrapped in a suit.

Jonathan
Yeah, but have you found anything?

Bullo
Jackpot. Get the van over here. We're going to need it.


Saturday 9.15am

Hedricks
Looks like you guys hit a gold mine but I can't fence it.

Jonathan
What do you mean you can't fence it?

Hedricks
The coins are no problem. They'll never be listed as stolen so I can sell them easy.

Hedricks
Its the gold that's the issue.

Jonathan
Why? Its never been one before.

Hedricks
This is definitely not the usual. Gold rings, jewelry. We've fenced it all before. No sweat.

Hedricks
But this is bullion. Stamped and registered. To sell it on without people noticing will require melting it down and turning it into something not bullion.

Jonathan
So what do we do?

Hedricks
I have a friend out of town who can help. He'll take the bullion at a discount.

Jonathan
And what will that cost?

Hedricks
25% tops.

Jonathan
Bloody hell. You sure there's no other way?

Hedricks
No other safe way. We're on a good deal here. The dead don't stand up and call the cops remember.

Hedricks
As long as we slide under the radar everything'll be fine.

Jonathan
OK. How much for the coins?

Hedricks
That took a bit of figuring.

Jonathan
Had to use some of that fancy book learnin'?

Hedricks
Funny. By my reckoning you've got 50 grand just in the coins.

Jonathan
And the gold?

Hedricks
About 460K.

Jonathan
Holy Hell. What's your cut?

Hedricks
After costs I'll have to take 180K. The gold's the kicker. Should be able to wash it through in about four weeks.

Jonathan
Deal. But I'll need 50 up front.

Hedricks
I'll get the money ready for tomorrow.  Meet me at the shop around 4.

Jonathan
I'll be there.


Sunday 4.02pm

Bullo
You at the shop yet?

Jonathan
Yeah. But we've got a problem.

Bullo
What now?

Jonathan
Cops are all over the place. Something's happened.

Bullo
Can you see Hedricks?

Jonathan
No. But they've got the Coroner parked in the alley.

Bullo
Shit. Can you get the money?

Jonathan
Not a chance. Some of the cops have been hauling out our gold. They must have found his stash.

Bullo
What about the coin?

Jonathan
In bags. Looks like we've lost most of it.

Bullo
Jesus.

Jonathan
Might not all be lost yet. One thing I know about Hedricks is he never keeps everything in one place.

Jonathan
There's a good chance the cops might miss something.

Bullo
What're you thinking?

Jonathan
I'm pretty sure he's got at least two hidden safes in there. We should go in tonight and see what we can find for ourselves.

Bullo
I don't know. It's a risk.

Jonathan
The guy's been a fence for thirty years. God knows what he'll have stashed. Could be the best score we ever make.

Bullo
Give it a few days. Then we should.

Jonathan
What's wrong? Not like you to be hesitant.

Bullo
Other things on my mind. I think we might have another problem.

Jonathan

What is it?

Bullo

Somebody was out at the cabin last night.

Jonathan
How do you know?

Bullo
Got back from town and found one of the side doors broken.

Bullo
Wasn't smashed in, just off its hinges.

Jonathan
Bear?

Bullo
Not this time. Bootprints on the stoop. Fresh mud and a clear tread.

Jonathan
Shit. Any ideas?

Bullo
Only the Hallaways. We don't get along.

Jonathan
Couldn't be. All three are doing time.

Bullo
Then I got nothing.

Jonathan
Could just be someone passing through. You got the alarm ready?

Bullo
Yeah.

Jonathan
OK. I'm going to try my luck at Hedrick's tonight. You should stay back and watch the cabin.

Jonathan
Anybody turns up unexpected. Shoot them.

Bullo
Seems fair and reasonable.

Jonathan
I'll get back to you once I've been through Hedrick's.


Sunday 11.59pm

Bullo
You in Hedrick's place yet?

Jonathan
No. Still outside. Cops watching the shop.

Bullo
I'd get out of there. Our problem here has escalated.

Jonathan
Are they back?

Bullo
Someone is. I can hear them in the forest down near the creek.

Jonathan
You loaded?

Bullo
Shotgun and Ma's old 45.

Jonathan
Good. I'm on my way.

Jonathan
Should take 25 to get to the cabin.

Bullo
When you get close don't come down the driveway.

Bullo
Come in through the trees. You might be able to get a better look.

Jonathan
Will do. Have you seen anything?

Bullo
No. But I can hear them. Sounds like at least four.


Monday 12.16am

Bullo
Jonathan. You close?

Jonathan
Still in the van. You see them?

Bullo
Just shadows in the trees. One's a good deal larger than the others.

Jonathan
Don't wait for them to get close to the cabin. Shoot them if you think you've got a clean shot.

Jonathan
We'll clean up the mess later.

Bullo
Roger that.


Monday 12.30am

Jonathan
Just passing the gas station. What's happening?

Bullo
Got shadows in the trees but nothing's out in the open.

Bullo
Took a shot at one. He went down.

Jonathan
And they're still there?

Bullo
All around. More now. Counted at least ten.

Jonathan
Jesus. Should be there in 10.

Bullo
Hurry.


Monday 12.35am

Bullo
Jesus. Jonathan. Get your ass out here!

Jonathan
Almost there.

Bullo
They're coming out of the trees. Moving towards the house.

Jonathan
What do you see?

Bullo
Oh Christ. They look like corpses. All of them.

Jonathan
What?

Bullo
Corpses. Dead guys. Gotta be more than twenty now.

Bullo
Shit. The big one has no finger.

Jonathan
So what?

Bullo
That bark in a suit guy. I cut his finger off to get his ring.

Jonathan
I didn't see any ring in the stuff we took from the grave.

Bullo
I kept it. It was a cool ring and I had to have it. All demons and dragons and shit. Cut it off.

Jonathan
Why didn't you tell me?

Bullo
Hedricks was wary of any new rings so I just kept it.

Jonathan
Where is it now?

Bullo
Hanging on a chain around my neck.

Bullo
Shit. They're on the porch.

Bullo
I can hear them pushing at the door.

Bullo
Jesus H Christ! They are corpses. Bloody dead people.

Jonathan
Bullo?


Monday 12.42am

Jonathan
Bullo. Where are you?

Bullo
Running. South towards the creek.

Jonathan
You still armed?

Bullo
Used up all the shells. Still got the 45.

Bullo
Where are you?

Jonathan
Just coming up to the cabin.

Jonathan
Jesus. What are all these bodies?

Bullo
Emptied everything I had into them. Brought down five but there were too many. Had to run.

Jonathan
Where are the rest?

Bullo
After me. I'm making for the animal hide.

Jonathan
At the old Oak?

Bullo
Yeah. I'm really hoping they can't climb.

Jonathan
I'm on your trail.

Jonathan
You at the hide yet?

Bullo
Just climbing.

Bullo
Now I'm inside.

Jonathan
Who are they?

Bullo
Christ knows. I can tell you one thing though.

Jonathan
What's that?

Bullo
They ain't living. I pumped everything I had into the first few and only brought 'em down when I blew their heads clean off with the shotgun.

Jonathan
Shit. Where are they now?

Bullo
Moving around the tree.

Jonathan
I'm only a minute behind you.

Bullo
For God sake don't come any closer. There's too many.

Jonathan
What are they doing?

Bullo
Crowding around the tree.

Bullo
Holy Hell they stink. Bark Guy is definitely their leader.

Jonathan
Why do you say that?

Bullo
He's the shot caller. I hit him three times and each time the others stumbled like I'd shot them as well.

Bullo
Its like they're tied to him somehow.

Jonathan
Then shoot him again.

Bullo
Can't. He's pulled back. Its the others that are crowding the tree.

Jonathan
Any of them climbing?

Bullo
Not yet. Just waiting.

Jonathan
This is crazy. Why are they after you?

Bullo
I think its the ring.

Jonathan
You didn't keep the finger did you?

Bullo
Maybe.

Jonathan
I swear Bullo, you're an idiot.

Bullo
Thanks for the vote of support. How am I getting out of this?

Jonathan
I think we should call the cops.

BulloAre you kidding? I've got four warrants on me that I know of. I ain't calling anyone.

Jonathan
I'm getting closer to the hide. I can see movement around the tree.

Bullo
That would be my new admirers.

Jonathan
Don't see the Bark Guy.

Bullo
He's north of the hide. At the edge of the clearing.

Jonathan
Got it.

Bullo
You armed?

Jonathan
No.

Bullo
Great. What do we do now?

Jonathan
I don't know. Never had a pack of undead people attacking my brother.

Bullo
I think the Bark Guy wants something.

Jonathan
You think? How attached are you to that ring?

Bullo
You want me to give it back?

Jonathan
And the finger.

Bullo
Jesus. Hold on. Something's happening.

Jonathan
The Bark Guy's gesturing to the corpses. They're moving closer.

Bullo
Oh crap. They're climbing.

Jonathan
Christ Bullo. Throw the ring and finger onto the ground.

Bullo
But its all we've got left from the heist.

Jonathan
Throw them you idiot!

Bullo
Done. What're they doing?

Jonathan
Climbing down. Oh shit.

Bullo
What?

Jonathan
The Bark Guy is walking towards the finger.

Bullo
I can't see anything from up here.

Jonathan
He's got them. He's gesturing to the corpses.

Bullo
What are they doing?

Jonathan
Moving off. Thank Christ. They're going.

Bullo
Where's the Bark Guy?

Jonathan
He's looking at the hide. Mumbling something.

Jonathan
Now he's going as well.

Jonathan
They're gone.

Bullo
Great. But I'm not getting out of this hide until I'm sure they've gone.

Bullo
Anyway. That's me done.

Jonathan
What do you mean?

Bullo
No more grave robbing. I've had it. The dead are way too much trouble.

Bullo
We need a new angle. Something that won't turn around and kick us in the ass.

Jonathan
I agree. As it happens I've got an idea.

Bullo
What?

Jonathan
 
Mobility scooters. Old people leave them everywhere when they do their shopping. We'll nick them and sell them on for 500 a piece.

Bullo
Sounds like easy money. When do we start?

THE END


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